Note: I do know it's spelled Thailand.
We are onto fantasy dates.
Skies out, thighs out. That's Sean's Motto.
First, this is the only reason I would go on this show. So I could go to these sweet tropical places. I would literally just get wasted and stay on the beach. But then again, I wouldn't make it past the first night.
We have three left AshLee, Lindsey, and Catherine.
However, the real stars of this episode are the monkeys, who appear in each date.
Of course, Sean has some thinking to do, and he does what is only right, lays in a hammock to ponder it all.
Lindsey is first up. And they apparently shopping for dyed baby chicks. And by dyed I mean they are going to die soon. Lindsey eats a bug because… If not she's going home? In her head she's thinking: show Sean how brave I am.
And she almost vomits, as does the rest of America. They eat a bunch of other interesting things. Like chicken feet. Isn't she worried about what's gonna come out of her body in the fantasy suite?
After, they head to the beach. And she looks like a grease monkey. Wait, there are some actual monkeys.
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| Squatting in a bikini on TV? No thanks. |
After she takes a laxative and sprays on some dry shampoo she tells Sean she loves him. WAIT. Nope, instead some dancers come in to ruin the moment. It's hard to tell who's boy or girl. The dancers I mean. After some awkward baby talk, Lindsey says it, “I have to go to the bathroom.” JK. She says “I love you.” I mean, you better after eating all those nasty things.
Next up is should be motivational speaker but really professional organizer, AshLee. Sean is testing her to see if she can be vulnerable and let go. What better way to do this than swimming through a dark cave. #teambuilding
But she and Sean find the “light at the end of the tunnel” meaning they make out on a secluded beach.
AshLee discusses why she's still single. No one is surprised, crazy eyes. She acts like she doesn't want Sean's thighs in Thailand, but then she accepts the overnight card from Chris Harrison. But she has to accept it, so she could tell Sean her ring size. Hint: You are one of 3 left, honey. Nothings in the bag. I wouldn't even talk like that if it WAS in the bag.
Finally it's Catherine's date. If you don't like her than what's wrong with you. She's a ball of fun and cuteness. Despite the storm, their love withstands the rain. And this has been a segment from the corny corner. Cat talks about vulnerability and worries about getting it on in the fantasy suite. Don't worry cat daddy, Sean is a born again virgin. But she is the only one that hasn't told Sean she loves him.
AshLee arrives last to the rose ceremony but her boobs arrive first.
My favorite part of the episode is when Chris Harrison comes out to let everyone know that this is the final rose. But with only 2 left no Chris tonight.
AshLee does not get the final rose and there is fire in her eyes. And daggers. I'm scared and I'm not even there. She can't even speak she's so mad. She's going to stalk him and kill him. It's only natural for her kind. “This wasn't a joy ride” for AshLee. What will she do now, where will she organize? And you wonder why you're single.
Only 2 girls left! Who do you think he will choose?
Sorry I'm not sorry for watching the Bachelor. Obsessively.
Linking up with Sara, Kaitlyn, Staci, and Katelyn.
