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You've just been on a boat for what seems like the last 1/3rd of your life. You're wondering what to do now. How can you go on? Why does it still feel like you're swaying back and forth? Why do you no longer have an icy pina colada in your hand?

All of these questions and more, will be answered. But first, let me set the scene.
On Friday, we left Dallas to drive in icy and sleeting conditions. There were more wrecks in Dallas than I'd ever seen before so we had to take side streets to drop the dogs off before making our way to Houston. Before we left for our cruise we went to see one of my favorite DJs, Oliver Heldens.
We arrived at the Galveston port and boarded Carnival's largest ship the “Magic.” A really beautiful ship that can fit 4,000 passengers (that's not including the crew!)

Carnival magic
 

If you've cruised before you know there are massive cruise lines. I'm not talking about Royal or Carnical or Princess… I'm talking about actual lines. We waited in line for what felt like ALL DAY to get on the ship. Luckily our friend had “Head's Up” on her phone and we played the whole time, screaming at eachother and eating our pre-cruise diet: girl scout cookies. It was a very good example of how we'd intend to act while on board.

We meandered around the windy deck and grabbed some pina coladas. I'm going to be honest, since this post is in no way sponsored (sorry Carnival) we snuck in alcohol. We turbocharged all our drinks to make them a little bit more tasty.

The first day was spent at sea. We used our time wisely by finding a spot on the top deck and listening to our cruise playlist (a mix of hip hop and electronic) while overlooking the perfect blue oasis of water.

We used walkie talkies to communicate to one another. With code names for each room. This is one problem with real life. Yes, we have cell phones, but Walkies are so much more fun.
Dinner is formal night, aka Prom Night and we all order multiple appetizers and entrees in order to get the most out of our cruise diet: gorging.

We spent the rest of the night at Club Vibe where the DJ clearly believe that “The Wobble” is the only song to get a party going. He played it throughout the day for the rest of the trip.

The third day is off the ship and we dock at Cozumel. There, we're greeted with over jealous cab drivers and Snoop Dogg music circa 1998. We grab a spot on the beach at “Ocean” – word to the wise, don't go here. You have to pay to sit on the beach and you can pretty much do that anywhere. Despite losing money on the deal, we have a blast on the beach. Having your own sound system and booze where ever you go makes all the difference. We stood out on the sandy beach with our matching neon green tanks and blasting the electronic music.

 

The next day we arrived in Progreso, Mexico in the Yucatan peninsula. There we booked a double excursion to see the Mayan ruins and the city of Merida. We boarded the bus with our very colorful tour guide who liked to enunciate and explain to us about the Mayan culture.

 

We went to the ruins in Dzibilchaltún and our favorite part was swimming in the Sonatas. Underwater sink holes that lead to caves and though the water is from the gulf, it's not salty.

After swimming and exploring we went into the city of Merida, surprisingly Americanized with restaurants like Chili's and TGI Friday's. We chose to eat authentic Mexican food and drink margaritas.

The rest of the trip was spent relaxing on the boat, watching the sunset, drinking pina coladas, partyng at club vibe, and of course, eating like there was no tomorrow.

It was a fantastic trip and hard to come home to a frigid Texas. You can see all our snaps on instagram with #GetCruzy2015.

So, here's how to survive after a cruise:
Play the wobble at various times of the day.
Use a Walkie Talkie as your phone.
Call your friends only by their code name.
Wear matching tank tops.
Always have a hashtag.
Take a selfie whenever the mood calls for it.
Drink at least one pina colada every day. Add some 151 to spice it up a bit.
Sway from side to side to get that “on the boat” feeling.
Eat, a lot.