The new iPhone 5s was released today.
Nerds everywhere rejoiced. People with lots of money threw their iPhone 5 in the trash. People that wait in line for this thing…started to camp out. Tech websites heaved with the increase in traffic. And Britney Spears wondered if she was in outer space, y'all.
But you know what? There are a lot of things way more important than some shiny gold phone.
1. There's some stuff going on in Syria. Like big stuff. Like a WAR.
2. Miley has a new music video out for her song “Wrecking Ball” and it's raunchy and racy. She licks a sledge hammer.
3. Sharon Osbourne revealed she had a “fling” with Jay Leno. Poor Ozzy.
4. Obama asks Congress to wait to vote on #1. He needs time to work on a “diplomatic option on Syria.”
5. The most epic twerk fail ever was just a joke by Jimmy Kimmel. Damn, he so got me.
6. 2 Chainz released a new album today called: B.O.A.T.S. II: Me Time. It's also accompanied by a cookbook. Sure to be epic.
7. People really care about this sport where guys tackle each other and throw a ball around. It's called Football.
8. A newlywed pushed her husband off a cliff. They'd been married 8 days. That's a pretty short honeymoon phase.
9. Gucci Mane is taking a minute off from looking at his ice cream face tattoo to be in a twitter war with Nicki Minaj and Drake.
10. Apple is secretly hiking it's AppleCare+ repair fees by $30 while we all gawk at the new phone. Sheesh.
What else is more important than a smart phone release?
But seriously, can I have one?