These are my thoughts while watching last night's Bachelor. And boy oh boy am I ecstatic about this season, and these girls. They are emotionally unstable and I love it.

His smile- when he smiles I smile.

Except for the eyebrows. (In that I don't see them)
And keep your shirt off.

“God had another plan for me” is one of the first lines he says and apparently that plan, is the
bachelor. Interesting plan.

Bromance time: Arie and Sean's talk about kissing. Please stop. Now. 

Tierra. First thought, hi you're cute. But, she could be a stage 5 clinger
based on previews of the next episodes. 

Ashley P. Ombré hair and 50 shades obsessed girl- bye. Also drunk. Also
entertaining. “I brought a rape whistle in case I'm in trouble,” Sean says it all.
Falling down drunk is greatness. 

Lesley- love. Also slight bias because of my Ty's association with her.
Plus she's adorable. And football play, nice touch. 

Kristy- The model- “other girls are jealous of me” -I can't help that my father is
the inventor of toaster strudel. She is a total mean girl. In a bad way.

Other Leslie- no. “Holy Toledo?!” Who says that. 

Handshake girl. I don't know her name so it doesn't say much. 

Kelly- You need to go talk to my friend Whitney on how to put in a
weave. 

Katie- yoga Girl. I'm bored. 

Catherine- oh you're real cute and seem like halfway genuine (if that
exists) 

Robyn- you fell down trying to do a back bend. You have failed the
bachelor.

Lacie- heart of lace, original. And weird.

Paige- Jumbotron Opeator. And on the bachelor pad 3 as a fan. Cya. 

Tierra (ovbs works for Jane Seymour with that open heart tattoo on her
hand) gets a rose right away. Aka this is why all the girls hate her. Now I
heart her. And my heart melted.

Catherine's comment about the situation “animal attack on the eyeballs” might be my fave line of the night.

Desiree- that red dress, gimme. Fountain wish, like it. Gets the 2nd ever
1st impression rose. Also happy with this.

Wedding dress girl Lindsay. I'm scared. And she went for the lips to kiss
him. We all feel awkward. Get back in the limo. Also drunk as a skunk. I love
it. Love more that he gave her a rose. But also, is he insane? And if this is all he has to choose from then God help him.

Kacie B got the kinks out of her hair and decided to hit on Sean.
Apparently “She was 4th on Ben's season.” I'm glad we all know this is about who
places in this competition. Also no job description. Cool.

Changing up the format by slipping in roses whenever he feels the urge. If
I was talking to him and didn't get a rose (like Ashley H) you know you might get cut. I'm insecure.  

Taryn. Crying already. Drunk already. Everyone is drunk apparently. 

Sarah, Kourtney Kardashian voice? Oh shit, you have one arm.
So sweet to give one armed Sarah a rose. I mean, could he be sweeter? This
is why I love this show. 

Love when people cry when the go home. Spoiler alert: bad weave, jumbo tron,
Ashley h (aka nicki Minaji), drunk 50 shades girl- all leave.

Who gets my rose?

If I had to pick the top 4 I'd go with (this will probably be all wrong and these girls will be psychotic):

Tierra – she may be crazy but she seems cute. And I always love the first impression girl. 

Lesley – She seems like she has half a brain and half a heart. win.

Desiree- I like that she has a real job (aka not a  jumbotron operator) and she seems genuine. Plus she wasn't wearing tranny makeup. 

Catherine- I don't really know why but I like her. But she seems cool. Thank you. 

So there you have it. A little messy I know.
Did you watch? Are you going to continue to watch?