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This week I move to Germany. A country I've never stepped foot in. I don't speak the language (although, I am learning). I don't know where we're going to live. Heck, I don't even know where to find wifi. But I do know it's going to be an adventure.

adventure_look

Shirt here.

Today I am finally packing my suitcases and getting rid of extra items, since my bags were over the limit last time I weighed them. Also, I need to get real. I'll be tugging two suitcases and a dog. As will Michael. Please wait for pictures of this. And cross your fingers that we can manage.

I don't leave until Thursday, but I can already feel butterflies in my stomach. I have such mixed emotions.

For a person who doesn't like change, I am about to shake up my whole life. Growing up, I dreaded getting older. I didn't like the new school year. I hated the idea of moving. And I just wanted to keep things the way they were. To me, I believe (d) that if you keep it the same, you can't really get hurt. I know now that isn't true. But I can't help wanting to savor moments in time, relish the now, and think about the beauty of the past.

When Michael and I got married we immediately started planning our future in a major way. We diligently saved for a house, we (Michael) researched where to find a doberman, and we started contributing to our retirement accounts. At age 24.

Six months later we realized saving money was not as hard as it seemed. It was doable, and maybe even a little fun. We bought a house, another dog, and made more plans. All the while, I rarely decorated the house (that's why you've never seen a home tour on this blog).

Then, we took an epic trip abroad. It was 10 days of pure awesomeness in Belgium, Amsterdam, and Paris. I had been abroad before, but this time it was on my own, without my parents. We knew we needed to keep this going.

The other night, after a very American dinner of steak and potatoes (although I hate steak, just don't like it, so I had chicken) my Mom told a story. Growing up I had the huge privilege of traveling to London every year for about six weeks when my parents taught a study abroad program. We took a side trip to Scotland: Mom, Dad, and my twin sisters.

One Sunday we were heading back on the train when my Mom peered out the window. Below she saw beautiful cliffs, serene seas, and something else really caught her eye. She saw swans swimming in the ocean.

The train pulled into the station and my mom looked at us and said, “We're getting off here.” My Dad thought we were crazy. He wasn't going to come, and just continued grading papers. He probably didn't think we'd go. But we did. We left him in charge of taking all the luggage and us four girls were off. We ran down the cobblestone streets following Mom like ducks toward the bright green lawns, pristine blue sea, dappled with white swans.

This small English town near the Scottish border, called Berwick-upon-Tweed, was magical. The photos we took barefoot in the cold surf became our Christmas card that year.

After telling that story my Mom said, “To me, that is your adventure abroad. You'll get off at train stations. You'll be able to explore without any deadlines. You're going to create your own Berwick-upon-Tweed.”

I sat there listening, fighting back tears. I will miss my family and friends a lot. If you can't tell, I'm very close with my family. My mom is my best friend and it will be hard to not be in the same time zone or even, continent. But I think this is something I was meant to do.

I know that at times it will be hard. But it will be totally worth it.

floating-world-ring

Floating World Ring” is from Arlo Jewellery. I literally have the world wrapped around my finger. I have yet to take this ring off since I received it. I can't wait to take it with me on my adventure! All the jewelry from Arlo Jewellery is stunning. See more here.

 

I'm not really sure what to expect. I'm not even really sure how to feel. All I know is that I've planned, and now, it's time to take the leap. I'm scared as hell, but I think it would be weird if I wasn't.

 

I'd love for you to follow along with me on this insane journey. I'll be posting (a lot) on instagram @heleneinbetween and Snapchat @helenesula.