I have never in my life felt butterflies like this before. It's been going on for well over a month now. Maybe longer. But since last Monday, I've really felt them. And there's a good reason why.
I'm making the biggest change of my life, ever.
I'm the type of person that gets butterflies. Or you can call it anxiety. Or anticipation. Whichever technical term you prefer. I tend to think getting nervous or excited about something is actually a good thing. It helps you to focus and reminds you what needs to get done. Or sometimes it just freaks you out.
Growing up, I was a bit of a theater nerd, and I remember before it was my cue to enter the stage, I would stand in the darkness, holding my hands into fists, and biting my lip. I was so nervous and excited I could barely stand it. Some people get stage fright, but I somehow thrive off it. It's a thrill knowing I have to go out there and show the world what I've got. Even if that world is just a few hundred people that are mostly moms with video cameras.
It's so strange how the small choices you make lead up to something. Even looking back at my old blog posts, they all reflect this change. Every decision you make, no matter how inconsequential it may seem, can ultimately lead to the kind of life you lead. That doesn't mean you should stop and think it all through, no one has time for that. But the decisions you make do add up to the sum of your life. And that's kind of awesome. We are in more control than we might think.
So I guess when I titled this post, “The Butterfly Effect” it has two meanings. The first, because butterflies are fluttering in my stomach. And the second, is that, by definition, the butterfly effect means that small causes can have large effects.
For the past couple years Michael and I have been planning. And now that plan is about to come to fruition. Now that I know for sure, I can finally start to tell you this secret I've been holding on to for a very, very long time. Even writing those words stirs something in me. I'm excited and nervous. I can't wait to tell you all about it.
Do you believe in the Butterfly effect?