I wasn't sure if I was going to write this post but I thought hey, if I'm going to make a ridiculous gif of myself I might as well write this post.
You may know that about 8 months ago I shattered my ankle and broke my leg. The recovery process has been hard but I feel like I'm getting better. Well, I felt like that until today.
When I got up this morning I worked out, like usual. I have really been trying to get on a good workout schedule. I have put on some weight since breaking my ankle and sometimes it's hard to stay motivated when you're exercising and your ankle swells and starts aching.
Michael and I have also been power walking (like the old people do with the elbows up really high) to get ready for all the walking we will do around Europe.
Ambitiously, this morning I wanted to do a harder workout since I really can't seem to shake the weight off. I was doing pretty well, and keeping up with the workout video.
The next move was a simple jumping jack. I stretched my arms out, jumped and landed on my feet with excruciating pain.
I sat on the floor and just cried like a baby.
How can I dance like I used to? How can I run? How can I jump? How can I lose weight? How can I do anything I used to do if I can't even do a jumping jack?
It made me angry. Furious. I felt like I should just give up. It's been 8 months and I still can't do some of the “normal” things I'm so used to doing.
But I know that I have to keep trying.
It's a scary thing to not know what you're capable of anymore. It's scary to know that something as simple as a jumping jack can be painful and damaging. Maybe today I can't do a jumping jack, maybe not tomorrow or even a month from now.
But I have to get back up. Even with a swollen ankle and a bruised ego.