Sunday Series: The Unreal Life

The title was inspired by my friend Ellen. When we were in college, I would sit on her bed for hours every Sunday and update her with stories from my wild weekend. She would always let out one of two responses– a slow “unreeeeal” if it was a dramatic, good-grief type story or a short “unreal” if it was entertaining in a “only you, Autumn, only you” way. “Unreal” encompasses the good, the bad, the awkward and everything in between that makes up my life.

Sassy. Smart. Genuine. 100% Unreal. 

Khloe Kardashian and Adele. I affectionately refer to Adele as my “top betch.” Adele took her heartbreak and turned into nine Grammy awards. She is sassy, strong and doesn't give an eff what anyone thinks of her. Same with Khloe. I am convinced Khloe and I could be real-life besties because we both keep it real, say what we think and are a little handsy (we share a mutual love for harassing our sisters, what can I say). A friend of mine actually wrote a whole schedule for me of what brunch with Adele and Khloe would look like, and it still gives me the giggles. We would drink wine, talk about sex and be top betches. 

Spying on my apartment neighbors when it's dark out and they think no one is looking in to their brightly lit windows to see how their apartment is decorated. Just kidding. I really like playing with kids. Whether it's volunteering, working or just playing with my nieces and nephews, I need kid time. 

When I was little, I lived with my parents, four sisters, two cousins, grandparents, aunt and uncle. My grandparents went away for the weekend, and when they returned they brought presents for me and my two cousins. My cousins both got beautiful, expensive, porcelain dolls. What did I get? Sidewalk chalk. Boom, family drama. Also, my cousin proceeded to cut her dolls hair off within 20 minutes of getting it (not that I'm still bitter or anything). Just counting my immediate, nuclear family (sisters, their husbands, etc), there are 19 of us. So we already outrank the Kardashians in size. And when you combine five, strong-willed sisters with a mutual deadly allergy to poison ivy and any change in laundry soap, you get some pretty entertaining stories–way more entertaining than Kim's inability to stop making a duck face. 

I've been described as “the girl who likes tribal print and old man bars” and “the girl who's just embarrassing enough to make anyone feel comfortable around her, without being embarrassed to know her.” I never met an adventure I didn't like, and have been known to eat stranger's hamburgers and accept rides from people I meet on the Megabus. I try to make the little things an adventure, and have a good laugh along the way. I hope you'll stop by and join me for the ride as I learn how to use appropriate office lingo, stop dating assholes and say no to strangers!

Now go on and say hi to Autumn!
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