Guess what today is? Nope, we aren't commemorating a war or remembering a great day in history. But today does happen to be my birthday. My 27th. While I love celebrating my birthday, I also hate getting older. Always have. Like since I was six. But today I'm going to pretend that I'm only 9 (2 + 7 =9 after all).

Usually people like to talk about what they've learned. Even though I'm another year older, I'm not sure I'm another year wiser. Although, I am starting to get those lines around my eyes that may deceive people that I am in fact smarter- I'm not. So instead, I'm going to focus on things I haven't learned. Yes, 27 years old, and I'm still clueless about plenty of things.

Here are 27 Things I Haven't Learned in 27 Years:

1. To put on eyeliner. I'm still terrible at it. When I try to get fancy I will throw it on, and I either wind up rubbing it off or missing the line of my eye. It doesn't look pretty.

2. To open the blinds. I mean I know how to open them, but Michael calls me a “vampire” because when he gets home they're all shut.

3. Pants. I still don't understand them and I much prefer leggings, dresses or jorts.

4. Long division. Y'all. I hate math.

5. Modern art. Oh is that a palette you have there? Wow. Looks like a freaking palette why in the hell is this worth $1567.45?

Examining a Palette in Spain.

6. Expensive wine. Franzia (aka boxed wine) is one of my most favorite wines. If I really want to splurge I might pick up an $8 Sauvignon Blanc, because I'm classy like that.

7. Football. I think at this point I just choose not to understand. Sorry all of blogland.

8. Screamo music. I just don't get it. And it hurts my ears.

9. Why I can't eat whatever I want and just be in shape. PLEASE.

10. Google Plus.

11. Why there is always always laundry to be done.

12. Cryptic Facebook statuses. Why are you so bummed out? You want me to like that? NO ONE CARES.

13. Why people want to have kids. They seem like a lot of work and not a lot of me getting to go to music festivals.

14. People that don't like loud music. I mean, how can you hear it?

15. This one really gets me, people that don't like to dance. You might as well go ahead and check the box next to “not my friend.” Because at some point (as soon as possible) I will want to be on the dance floor.

16.  The symbolism in most books. Red means what?

17. When people don't say y'all. It's the best word ever. And so is Texas.

18. That my birthday isn't a day where I get to do whatever I want for 24 hours.

19. To just be quiet and keep it to myself. I have never mastered the art of that.

20. Why all my birthdays can't look like this:

21. To embrace change. I really like things the way they are.

22. That popcorn and wine is not an acceptable dinner.

23. To not laugh at inappropriate times.

24. To act my age. Michael and I started dating when we were 17, and I don't think I took my mind with me.

25. The proper way to Dougie. This is a dance I really need to work on.

26.  That I'm not always right. It just really feels like I am.

27. To be happy about getting older. Although I think I am pretty good at understanding how to be happy. Last night, as we were falling asleep, Michael said that people should only get sad about getting older if they're unhappy with their lives. If you're living a good life you have a year to look back and celebrate. A wise reflection. So, this year I'm going to learn to be happy that I'm older. Because really, it's all good.

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